12 June 2011

Weekend Humor: Libyan "Mission" edition

This weekend we're trying something different - we want your humor. That's right. We want you to chime in.

Back in March, we asked y'all to write a mission statement for the current operations in Afghanistan. Only Guardian was brave enough to take the plunge (but y'all feel free to go back and chime in retroactively, especially now that OBL is sleeping with the fishes).

This weekend, we want you to try your hand at writing the mission statemnt for NATO operations in Libya. No, no... really, we want to see what you come up with for our mission over Libya. Stop laughing. We're serious. Well, we're serious about wanting your mission statements. We're only sorta serious about what's happening in Libya right now, especially since the mission there has now reached the point where it is a complete and utter violation of US law.

By: Brant

1 comment:

Guardian said...

Since you mentioned me by name again, I suppose I have to step up and give this one a try too. I'm going to take a lighter spin on this one:

"You are to conduct a half-hearted air campaign over Libya in order to enforce a no-fly zone against a third-rate power. You are also to sporadically conduct targeted strikes against strategic targets, with an emphasis on making the rubble of Gaddafi's headquarters bounce.

You may, at your discretion, sometimes protect civilians from loyalist Libyan forces. You will also provide sporadic air support to Libyan rebel forces with unclear agendas, loyalties, and composition. In order to keep the rebels on their toes, this support should sometimes be closely coordinated with the rebels on the ground, but at other times arrive hours too late. In keeping with our strategic approach, support should be 'too little, too late.'

All of this should be done in cooperation with ambivalent allies. Although German and French forces with long military traditions will be available, the tiny Gulf emirate of Qatar will be among your most effective and aggressive mission partners.

Our stated intent is for the Gaddafi regime to be replaced, but, in keeping with the pattern established in Iraq, we will make up our plan for what happens after that as we go along. Be advised that at any time during your campaign, we may lose interest and decide to leave the rebels to Gaddafi's tender mercies or bomb Syria instead."